STEP RIGHT UP — THE ONLY TRAVELING TESTICLE RELIQUARY IN THESE UNITED STATES 312 PAIRS IN MY KEEPING AND ROOM FOR YOURS ARIZONA OR BUST — THE TABERNACLE RISES OUTSIDE OATMAN NO ADDRESSES — FOLLOW THE YELLOW TRUCK STEP RIGHT UP — THE ONLY TRAVELING TESTICLE RELIQUARY IN THESE UNITED STATES 312 PAIRS IN MY KEEPING AND ROOM FOR YOURS ARIZONA OR BUST — THE TABERNACLE RISES OUTSIDE OATMAN NO ADDRESSES — FOLLOW THE YELLOW TRUCK

SHIRT MONEY FEEDS THE KEEPER — THE CAN IS ANOTHER MATTER

THE GIFT SHOP

Let's be plain about the money, because I always am: shirts keep me fed, fueled, and hauling. The building fund is a coffee can that takes cash in person at the truck and nowhere else.

PRINTED UP IN KINGMAN • PACKED BY MY OWN HANDS

The Official Shirts

Heavy cotton, printed twenty minutes from where the Tabernacle will stand. I pack every order myself in paper — never plastic, plastic is for people who've given up. Order at the truck or by letter. Tell me your size and trust me on the rest.

The Ball Handler Tee

The first shirt I figured out how to sell you straight off this page, no letter required. Same building fund, same heavy cotton, printed and shipped the modern way while I'm off driving the grade. More of the lineup's finding its way back to this page — this one just got here first.

$31+buy now — ships direct

S–XL — $31 2XL — $35 3XL — $39

If You Build It, I Will Come shirt, modeled

The “If You Build It” Tee

The whole promise, right on the chest — the Tabernacle as she'll stand outside Oatman, domes and all, with the line I've been saying since 1997 printed above her. Heavy cotton, same fund, same hands packing the box. Wear the dream before the foundation's poured.

$27.99+buy now — ships direct

S–XL — $27.99 2XL — $29.99 3XL — $31.99 4XL — $33.99 5XL — $35.99

Where the Money Goes — Read It, I Wrote It Slow

Shirt money is my living. It buys diesel, groceries, seal wax, and the occasional new fan belt. A keeper’s got to eat and a truck’s got to roll. That’s what you’re funding and I thank you.
The Tabernacle building fund is a different animal: a coffee can that takes cash in person at the truck, from your hand to mine, ledgered in pen while you watch. That is the only way it takes a cent.
I do not take building money over the internet, by mail, by check, by wire, or by any machine. Never have. If a website ever asks you for building money in my name, it’s a crook wearing my hat.

Ordering by Mail

Write me your size, your color, and your return address. I answer every letter in the order it arrives, usually inside a week, unless I'm driving the grade, in which case the grade comes first and you'd agree if you saw it.

Send Me a Letter Buy One Off the Truck